That English is a crazy language is evident in itself. In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?

English is not only a distorted language, but it distorts things it describes too. Cricket is described (in English) as a sport in which when you’re in (the field) you’re not really in, you’re out (of the pavilion). And when you’re not really not, you’re in.

If a famous film actor is called a star, is Clint Eastwood in “The good, the bad, the ugly,” a shooting star?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same while a wise man and wise guy are opposites? How can overlook and oversee be opposites while quite a lot and quite a few are the same? If pro is the opposite of con; is progress the opposite of congress? How can a tablet for digestion and tablet for indigestion be the same?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down’ in which you fill in a form by filling it out; in which your alarm clock goes off by going on and you’re laid up in bed when you’re down with a cold. An average student can go down in history by getting low mark in social science, while Mahatma Gandhi did so by fighting for India’s freedom. In which other language (other than English) do you take the floor by a stunning performance and take a seat by sitting on it?

English was invented by people, not by computers and it reflects the creativity of the human race ( which of course isn’t a race at all) So when the stars are out, they are visible but when the lights are out they are invisible. And that is why, when I wind up my watch I start it and when I wind up this essay I end it.

Author - ARAVIND R MENON